My Expression on you, My Beloved.

Today was the very first time I went to my bf working place.
I felt so stress to step in that saloon. I dont know why.. Maybe this is the first time I meet his FRIENDS.


I felt so depress, despite I clearly know this is how he life.


Every moment I stared at him, I wanted to ask him 'Do you like this life?' But I didn't spoke it out.
Until he told me 'This is my life.'
I got a very strong impulse to ask him, 'Do you satisfied with?'
But ended up, I said nothing to him.


On that moment, Im very sure to advice myself, that : Im not going your working saloon anymore.


I never said go to the Bf working place and watch how he work isn't a romantic thing.
Maybe, it is.. But I dont know why, I felt distressed.
I never know this job is exhauting.
I wished I would yell out my soul thoughts if I could,
- "Who would wish to see her bf working for 10hours a day and touched harmful chemical with his hands most the time, thoughout a day?"
- "Who would wish to see her bf kept standing the half day and never got a official recess time?"


I didn't meant to accused you, your everything. Im just feel distressed when I saw the way you work, the way you life ; The life that I couldn't know if I never been there today.
I laughed most the time, doesn't mean I treated it as nothing. I was finding something to subsituted the depression and keep it apart.


I really got nothing to write further on this.


Eventually I have to say, Enjoy. Im still love the way you are, when the moment you really being yourself.
Whatsoever, as long as you happy with. I just want to express.. Im sorry if I wrote something that make people feel uncomfortable.

Emotional Demands

We always keep requests and demands people to adapt us!

In addition, we could blame people saying he or she never understand your feeling.

Sometimes, we could even speak up our demands with our temper, say it to dissatisfy, morever. Or, tell the person who arouse your temper that you're not satisfied with his behaviour.

But we never think these are all because of OurSelves, it is doesn't matter with other people, who around us.

These are all happen when we are having depression.

It is not the real demands that we requests for.. We want it and we express it when we are not in the sober mood.

This post inspired me to think wisely before I put my temper on my bf.

Because, I would easily to get mad when he told me, he couldn't accompany me.

specially, at Saturday night.

Sunday, afternoon. When I got the savour to text me bf with a word (I just wanna make fun!), so then I did it.. After he replied me with end of his msg, I coulnd't find you tonight.

And, naturally my temper came and I was like : Get Off Of Me! You're Bad Guy! You're just think about your friends!

Before I putted it out, I took a long breathe and think deeply : Why should I get mad? Since eveybody got their own time which is belong to him. Me either..

So, I pulled back my temper and says : WHOA! I doesn't mad anymore! It is nice to being calm.

And this..!! Let me conscious I shouldn't act like a immature girl and always blame on a little thing. Something like, he couldn't accompany me tonight or other which is unreasonable demands and which is came from my temper-TALK.

So, I think~

There r a lot of ppl always blame when they r having temper conquer..

After you calm down, and you told people "This is ME! Im not good in temper.'

You're not good in temper, it doesn't mean people should follow their way with your temper, but why dont you follow people temper?

Did he owe you?

When something really going to happen, we should do something like "We should try hard to appease the fire while the Bomba is coming. We shouldn't just stand there and stare at the hire and let it getting serious."

We have to extand our hand and solve every problem we are having with people who around us.

That is selfish, if you always put the problem away which is involved you.

We're humen, we should be communicate with everybody who around us. Fight and quarrel are not good to us, it hurt our feeling.

Sometimes, we never think deeply before we talk. When quarrel aroused because of you words, but you rogue to the person who was fighting with you. Pointed on him, saying he is the one who cause this happened.

You're selfish and you never think about people feeling.

Nobody owe you and you owe nobody.

Try to be understanding before you want people to understand you.

Pretty Bad Luck

Today was a pretty bad luck day on my present life!

So fed up and doesn't want to cheer up, not even a little bit more..

I should take a rest, perhaps..!!

So stress!!

This could be two scenarious on my mind!

One, I thought you were not that Bad. I mean, not that bad as people said you so..

Two, but! You ARE! You're totally a BITCH!

AHH! I trusted you!!!

I was too naive!

ANyway!

It could make me happy too~

Oh ya!

Since when my house computer has became your friend computer?!

They came over and made manicure for you, so you kicked me off the computer room and said you need it.. Oh! Well~ I get off the room instantly..

Until 10.30something, she has finished you fucking manicure and you guys may have the chit-chat moment downstairs, but you still forcibly occupied the computer room and watched those fucking shit video with them.

Oh darling, you three got nothing to do on tomorrow but I need to work tomorrow!

You never be understanding but you want people to understand you.

I have to wake up the pretty early morning and catch up the time to work..

But you can stay at home and sleep whenever you want.

I never been disrespectful with them, with you either.. I never CLOSED my door, but I always BANG my door. Because I always pushed my door off..! OKAY?!

Everybody knew that!

I wonder why you want me to get off the room while you three inside?

I wonder why you guys has finished the manicure and I still not allow to TOUCH my computer?

I wonder why I rushed you because I need to bed soon and you putted your temple on me?

HEY! Did I did any mistake?

Sexual

I remember that Tyra Banks told her models before..

She says : Boys no need to act sexual.. They already got the face!

I was kept denied this with my sister..

She was just kept quiet and listened to my mumbling..

Slowly.. I realized, Tyra was true!

Girls have to Act sexual..

Boys, just stop down everything and already looks sexual..

Have a look!

Girls are Visible Act..

But, boys dont.. Boys are just POSED!

Shut Up and GO!

MEN~~~~~~~~~~

I fail my undang test AGAIN!

WTF!

THis time was even wrose than the first time!

Guess what?!

I never took it out and read, I always read it at the very last minutes!

I gonna take few days on the BOOK!

Sorry Mom! I lied you.. :(

Oh Men!

He is definitely a DUDE!

Im tired been whacked on this BULLSHIT!

Let me tell you, SON!

BOYS! Stop down your EGO! Smart Girls are not going to accommodates your EGO!

Perhaps, sometime you may see it on the Girl face that you are successed to GET her DOWN!

Nooo!! You're wrong if you think this way!

You really think girls Are STUPID?!

DOnt fool with us!

Dont mess with us!

We knew everything behind of boys but we never spoke up!

FOr what?! Protect guys EGO! Protect guys Image!

Girl gave up her everything on a guy because she go through with her feeling!

Feeling never told you which is Right and which is Wrong!

Feeling would only let you know which is Happy and which is Unhappy!

Feeling is go through with either Like or Dislike!

Because Feeling IS NAKED TRUE!

They never disguised!

If you found a girl who follow her feeling on choosing you!

You're The Lucky One, then..

Because WHAT?!

They are not fake with your Dirty-Sexy-Naked-Pure-Soul!

They are not fake with your Acting-Pretending-But still standing Pride-MIND!

They even know what you think but they still OK with~

Oh well!

You think girl dont know what you THINK on you MIND when you came close to her in a place where you saw her!

You think girl dont know what you THINK when you tell her You Love Her!

You think girl dont know what you THINK when you inkling her something!

THEY KNOW SO CLEARLY!

After you 'played' with the girl, and you said 'SO WHAT?! I do hard too! Merely a SEX!'

(WHAT THE FUCK!!)

After you 'got' the girl, and you said 'Oh ya! My gf?! Haha~ She is just toy which inside my list!'

(I WONDER WHY YOUR DAD DONT JUST SPRAY HIS SPERM ON THE WALL!)

After she told you She Love You so Much, and you said 'She is Annoying Me!

(Ohh~ FUCK YOU! I will show you what is the FUCKING BACKSIDE PAIN! DUDE~!)

Dont tell me your EX and you were still KEEP IN TOUCH and you both could date out and treat the past is NOTHING!

(Oh men! I gonna give myself a damn when I meet my EX! I wish I could dig a hole and hide inside!)

Stop treating girls are sohai!

We never spoke up because we didn't want to argue..

We did! Because we coulnd't endure the Fucking Shit Behaviour anymore, so we SPOKE OUT!

And we dont have conclusion in the end.

What we got, we got 'You Are Vexatious!'

Because we are not bitchs!

ONly bitchs would argue with you once she's unhappy!

Guess what?!

Bitchs dont like a Permanent Game!

They like to play Temporary Game!

They want to maintence their FLIRT MARKET and to prove they are favors!

They could Coupled with this guy today, Sex with him tonight, Break up the next day.

And accept another devotion the next day, Coupled - Sex - Break Up!

They could date THEIR EXS someday and act like 'SO WHAT?!'

(Or maybe not that rapid! A month or few months)

On their mind!

Would only appearred this Theory :

"You got you want from me and I got what I want from you! You no need to talk too much sweetheart to me! It's just wasting your time! What I want from you is Money either You give me Orgasm! If you dont have, just leave it, POOR GUY!"

If you told me, Im Living In the Past!

Yea! Maybe IM!

I dont like to break up randomly!

Im sick to built up another faith again!

Im tired to accept a new life again!

SO!

If you were really Do Love Me, Please stay!

If you weren't really Do Love Me, Please Leave!

Im not a cup of coffere, nor tea!

Im not a set of meal, but Im Humen Being!

(Oh myy~ I had away from my topic!)

ANYWAYS!

Let me tell you!

Im FREAKING WEIRDDO!

OK!

Btw~ I wonder why you can talked about yo gf on public without any SHAME!?

I swear with my WHOLE LIFE! Your GF is a VERY GOOD GF! She is even GOOD than me!!

You never cherished her!

FUNNY!

Why do I supposed to feel the way you feel but you never did that to me before?

You felt it shamed and I felt it fool.

Oh Yeah!

Maybe Im just a little girl who like to show up her temper and vent her temper randomly..

Im also ever putted up my temper anywhere and anytime..

Dont make crap!

You admitted this before.

Oh gosh!

Im so emotional!

One Life

We only got One Life..

Enjoy and Enjoy..

Dont waste it every second, every minutes!

And I know I wont..

xD

COOL!